How to Get Healthy, Part One

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As you read more into this series on relationships killers, narcissism, and domestic violence, you have probably recognized yourself as a victim or a perp (or maybe both) in some of the paragraphs. Perhaps you are now feeling depressed, as if you are in a hopeless situation. All kinds of medications and natural remedies are available for physical illnesses, but no pill can heal the scars imprinted on our emotions resulting from years of abuse and pain. Emotional abuse has far-reaching powers; long after the death of the abuser, their voice and past influence can still be heard and felt, exacting significant control over the actions of the one who was harmed.

Taking the first step to healing means that you must:
A) Be willing to look at your past, and
B) Be honest with yourself about who hurt you and who you have hurt.

Most therapists believe that the best way to accomplish the above steps is by
writing out your feelings. Often, the hand is more honest than the mouth; it will
write on paper what your mouth will not say when it comes to the truth. This is not
a one-size-fits-all progression; it’s a process that, once you decide to undertake it,
will take years as you peel back each layer of the damage you received and
recognize from where it came. Because we each come from a complicated past,
this process is not for the faint of heart. If you decide to take the first step toward
healing, however, you will forever be grateful for this life-changing step.

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